Just How I am Feeling… September 29, 2009

Good morning,
I sure hope everyone is having a good day.
Last night I was just reminded of how many people in my life I have who care for me, pray for me and love me.
I was so thankful that although I am really far away from them I still feel close to them and that is comforting.

We are doing well here. Life is tiring- mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially- it hits on all levels every day and it is tiring.
Mentally we are absorbing so much Spanish in one half of the day then doing a short amount of Home Schooling in the afternoon. Aside from that keeping up with the updates, pictures, blogs takes time. Our belongings are still not here so that weighs on the mind as we have now been here a month and still missing some of the key elements to settle. Being surrounded by another culture each of us have to understand, translate and then speak to go to the store, have to car fixed, anything. So at the end of the day we feel like our brains are fried!!!

Emotionally we are still adjusting and not sure we will ever feel comfortable completely with our living situation. Aside from the fact we have a German Shepherd that sheds 5 lbs of hair a day! the rains flood the hallway and stairs to our bedroom and living room so you are putting your shoes on and off all the time as to not track water throughout the main 2 rooms we use. The house is generally dusty and smelly b/c we are open to the elements of the street. People cook with wood here so 3x a day you can see and smell the smoke and it enters our bedroom, living room ,kitchen if the doors are not shut and of course the other parts of the house that do not have doors to close are always exposed. Emotionally we all just feel like we are not home, not comfortable, not able to just go ahhhhh. we are home. This is okay. We knew the situation coming into Magdalena, Milpas Altas and we are willing to adjust. It is just taking time. We hope in the future to make some changes to our home, but for now we are learning how to be thankful even when our home does not feel like it as we know home is where your heart is, not where you are comfortable. We have electricity,a hot shower, beds with pillows and blankets, couches and tables and chairs we are way ahead of some of the people here and for us to complain that smoke fills our home would be rather rude as our neighbors need to eat and they need to have fire to eat. The noise level here is way elevated as compared to our quiet, private hill in Stroudsburg! Buses with the loudest horns you could imagine, roosters, barking dogs, loud music all at 6:00 or earlier- every day in fact it is louder on the weekends as people are home and not heading off to work as much. That has been draining emotionally, mentally, physically as we really have to work at being rested and getting quiet. I do not have a washer or dryer yet so my laundry is always overflowing. I cook on a camping stove top burner with 1 pot and 2 frying pans for my use. I miss my kitchen and the ease of the tools and machines. I am grateful for friends here who have let me use their machines a few times to cut down on the work, the piles, and brought us dinners. When our shipment arrives I think physically it will relieve some of these burdens.

Our shipment is dragging on costing more and more money everyday. Our 19 year old car is leaking water from the sunroof and the starter and alternator need to be replaced at least that is what we think. The mechanic is outside speaking with Mark about it now. We were stuck 2x yesterday thank God at shopping centers where we were safe. Getting home took us 3 hours as opposed to 1. But while sitting, frustrated, tired and just plum done- we prayed, we asked God to help us not be distracted by the things of this world that in the big scope of why we are here these things are not important. Our house, car, money are not ours- they are all God’s who graciously allows us those comforts. We prayed and felt better, felt more centered and left the situation grateful for the stress of the car not starting again as we were able to unload the garbage and upload focused intentions. We did get the car started and made it home safely close to 6 when we were to return about 3, but all is good as the mechanic is looking at the car now. Vegetables, fruits and things you can buy at the market are very inexpensive and man have we loved, loved running down the road for the freshest eggs, veggies and fruits filling our bellies with goodness. Junk food is cheap here too- just as in the US, but every other thing is just so dang expensive; gasoline, clothing, shoes, meats, cereals, baking things and electronics…whew they are just crazy high! Still thinking if we are going to purchase a small oven as we don;t have one yet, but we also need a dryer for when our washer comes so I think that will trump the oven for now. Here labor is next to nothing and the people are good at what they do. In our town we have bakers with great bread and desserts real cheap, plumbers, mechanics, carpenters, welders, window makers, a bunch of tiendas and sorry attempts at school supply stores, but they work. Living here is not that expensive- rent is low, but electricity is high so it balances out. We need to buy water( can not drink or cook with the local water) so we have 5 gallon buckets we refill every day and a half, but they only cost about $1.80 each. So the money we spend monthly seems to be the same as in the states for some reason although it is not.

Because we are here for more than culture exposure for our family, different education for our children, to see a new part of the world and have a family adventure, we feel the urgency to be a spiritual bridge to the people here. We are here mostly to help others see God’s love for them, the freedom found in knowing you are loved and accepted. The peace that comes to your home, marriage, life when you decide to surrender and say, “I want you, Jesus, to lead me. I can’t be happy without knowing you are close to me.” We are busy with so many of our own needs that the time we want to have to minister to the people here physically is less than we had hoped. We know it is temporary until Spanish School is done, but it weighs on our hearts that there are people who have a corner of their home to stay dry, their bellies are empty, their house is dark, they are being ignored our abused. We feel burdened to help, to encourage, to know, to be friends with our neighbors intimately and that takes time and full brain capacity of which we have very little of both. Spiritually we question our motives for being here- yes it is for others, but are we learning the lessons God has us to learn while here or are we just stressing ourselves out?

To sum up my month here, I am just spinning. The good and the hard, the funny and sad, the challenge, the beauty, the stress, the reliance, the absence of comfort make my mind just spin. The kids are doing good, Mark too. We all feel great about tackling this adventure together and growing closer as we have to have much patience with everyone. Life is not easy. Life is not comfortable. In fact sometimes it is not even enjoyable, but it is our life and we never, ever want to feel unappreciative of the most important parts of life. Being loved, having peace are immeasurable necessities of life. Some strive their entire existence to feel what we have felt these past few months. We know we are where we need to be right now. We have no doubts of our future. We are secure in our love for each other. We have a peace that Jesus is with us suffering when we are, laughing, crying just as we are. We feel we are close to His heart helping those whom others feel are not important enough to help.

Although wore out in all aspects of this human life, we are usually uncomfortable, we are stressed and we are far away from “home”, we are just so incredibly thankful, overwhelmingly loved and cared for, extremely hopeful for enormous blessings to come this way and in sheer awe that we are given this opportunity as family to be here. So, please keep communicating to us your thoughts, your dailys as that helps us feel close to you all. We value your encouragement and as the Lord leads, your prayers. Month 1 has been……whew! and we would love for you to come and share in this journey while we are here in Guatemala.

I love you all.
I am thankful for you.
I pray for you.
I miss you.
I hope to see you soon.

Because of Jesus,
Gina

Advertisement